They say to soak it up.
Babies don’t keep.
Time is a thief.

This is all true. But I am going to be brutally honest with you: I am so happy to leave year one behind.

The last twelve months were hard. The lowest postpartum experience I have had. The biggest life adjustment. The most demands on my body and my time. This felt cruel to share because my life was bursting with, well, life. Bursting with what so many long for.

But I also feel like I need to share this. Namely, for any moms out there who are struggling with the baby stage. Maybe you loved it with one child and had a very hard time with another (me????????‍♀️). Maybe none of the “mother’s intuition” has come naturally to you. It’s ok. You don’t have to cherish the baby phase. I didn’t this go around, and it is very likely my last baby! Oh well.

Every time I hear someone tell me about their life with older kids I feel this deep exhale. Like the pressure to enjoy every moment with my toddler is relieved a bit. Maybe the best really is yet to come. Maybe each phase will simultaneously feel like the sweetest and the hardest. I am not sure.

What I do know is that babies don’t keep. But neither do toddlers. Or teens. Or grandparents for that matter. Seasons change, and it is ok to have a season you didn’t love. Or one you look back on and wonder how you survived. I love Alberta so much. I am so thankful for her and what she adds to our family. And I am also very happy to mark this past year and move forward.