Annual Anniversary Disagreement
It seems as though every year on the week of our anniversary Nate and I get into a large “disagreement.” And this year was so similar to the one we had two years ago, which some of you might remember revolved around a smoothie cup.
This time it was another breakfast item I daily leave on the counter. It would take me ten seconds to put away, yet most mornings I don’t. It also takes him ten seconds to put away.
And on this lovely week where we celebrate twelve years of marital bliss, he brought it up, and I blew up.
I look at it and think, “Give me a break! I do so much. Can’t you overlook this super small thing?”
He looks at it and thinks, “Good grief! I do so much, can’t you do this one small thing?”
And for both of us, it really was a small thing.
And for both of us, it represented a larger thing.
We both feel like we are doing a lot and the other person is not seeing all that we are doing.
And in that space I remember for the thousandth time why marriage is so very hard, and so very sanctifying. To live with another person and see their faults and them see yours and be misunderstood and misunderstand and continue to choose each other. It is HARD.
I hope you know that no-one on instagram has a perfect marriage. There’s a million proverbial things we leave on the counter and argue over. A million things we assume no one else argues over and “there must be something wrong with us!”
My marriage is the absolute best thing I have going in my life right now. Nothing feels stronger or matters more. And after twelve years, we had a familiar argument in a different form. Another opportunity to fight like hell to choose each other ❤️
So true. This is well said. On our 10th anniversary we had our most common fight and it was a big one. No matter how it starts it always turns out to be about the same thing below the surface, which is feeling misunderstood and unappreciated by the other person in some way. We are on our 13th year now as well and I’ve learned anew that the key to a fantastic marriage is going above and beyond to cherish and show appreciation and kind understanding to my spouse (even and especially when they don’t deserve it). I think about how I greet people at work and the way I try to show love to friends outside my home and work to treat my spouse just as well as that, if not better. I love this reminder that we are not the only ones and this is so normal.
I love that thought and challenge, Emily! Thank you so much for sharing