As we enter a new year, I find myself extra sensitive to parents. Namely, those wishing for a child: the pain that can come with a new year and arms bare where they hoped a child would be. And also for those with personal dreams and goals on hold as they find themselves wiping bottoms to the backdrop of Cocomelon. I wrote the following back in 2020 and wanted to reshare it. I hope it is a balm to anyone entering the new year with parenting expectations unfulfilled.
Friends, can I tell you a secret? No matter how many kids you have or how close together they are, there’s literally no trophy to hold. No extra badges. The hashtags are a total sham.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I actually can’t confirm if having kids close together is harder than having a larger gap or parenting an only child. I would assume none are as hard as wishing for children and being unable to have them.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
No matter how many children you hope to have, actually get to have, or how close or far apart they are, there is always (always) a trade-off. I have seen friends pack them in, friends space them out, and friends experience a larger gap than they would have liked due to miscarriage or fertility issues.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
There is no formula to this thing called motherhood, and way less control than most of us would prefer. The decisions we make and circumstances we carry are as unique as the children we bare.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Wherever today finds you: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Be it up to your neck in diapers or staring at yet another negative pregnancy test…⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Overwhelmed by the demands or facing an empty nest and eerily quiet for the first time…⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I pray you would know the deep and abiding love of God.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
In the highest peaks and lowest valleys, He is there.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
On the darkest of nights and the brightest of mornings, He is there.