Back in March, after the younger two were tucked into bed, the big kids asked if they could stay up past bedtime and have some tea with me.
We dipped cinnamon graham crackers into steamy mugs with lots of honey, and sat just talking and enjoying each other. It was during this time I had a very tangible realization and snapped a photo of our empty mugs to remember it. I thought to myself, “wow…this is the first time in a very long time that I have felt that I still have something to give after 8pm.”
At Alberta turning 17 months old, I could likewise feel myself turning a corner. Sleeping!! Rediscovering rhythms. Cooking meals I love. Saying yes to things like tea after bedtime. Ending the day with a little gas left in the tank.
I wanted to share this as an encouragement to anyone deep in the weeds of parenting. It can be utterly exhausting, and the time it takes to come out of the fog is unique to every parent and child. How they sleep, how you sleep, hormones, what other demands you have on your time, how you are doing as a person, if any and how much help you get from a spouse or loved ones. All of these details can lighten and thicken that fog and how long it stays.
But I do sincerely believe that day by day, be it the grace of God, help from others, the gift of modern medicine, or simply time…the fog begins to lift. Slowly revealing who you are. Slowly allowing you to find your way back to the things you love to do.